We were returning from picking up some equipment and happened to be in another station's district when a call came in just a few blocks from us. We radioed dispatch and told them we would take it for the other engine. The call was for an assault in the WalMart parking lot with one suspect still inside the WalMart. Police were on scene with the victim as we rolled into the parking lot.
Our victim/combatant was pacing around with some cuts and bruising to his face and neck when I introduced myself. He explained that he was in his car leaving the parking lot when another guy started hitting him (through the open window) with a tennis racquet. I looked over at the other police car and saw two tennis racquets on the hood that were completely bent up and destroyed.
My patient told me that he then stopped his car and got out to fight, naturally. Since there were two destroyed tennis racquets on the hood, I like to think that he got out, reached into his coat, and pulled out his own racquet, Highlander style, and the two began to duel.
I believe the truth is something closer to him leaping out of the car and charging a guy wielding two tennis rackets and getting beaten down windmill style. Either way, I bet it was a site to see.
Other than being very angry and quite bruised up my patient didn't have any serious injuries and declined ambulance transport. I have a feeling, though, that tomorrow he is going to look and feel like he was in a racquet fight. "Jesus, man, what happened to you?" "I got in a tennis racquet fight." "Oh. Yeah, that looks about right."
The police came out shortly with the Andy Roddick of the WalMart parking lot. Instead of some wild eyed crazy random attacker he turned out to be a guy in his early 20s who looked pretty normal. He stated that the guy in the car ran in to him in the parking lot and didn't stop, which led to the beating. He was unharmed in the melee and needed no medical attention. What a shock - the guy with two tennis racquets and the element of surprise won the fist fight.
What never ceases to amaze me is how surprised people are when they get arrested for the most obvious things. It seems they honestly don't understand why the cops are even talking to them. This kid was getting the bracelets hooked up as the officer explained that he was being charged with assault. He looked at her, aghast, saying "But he ran into me. Why am I in trouble?"
(should say, I Served Time)
The capper to this whole fiasco, though, was all the other drivers in the vast WalMart parking lot who could not figure out for the life of them how to deal with one aisle full of emergency vehicles and still go about their day. A whole line of cars pulled out and instead of going the opposite direction, headed straight down the aisle towards a fire engine, an ambulance, and two cop cars. They proceeded to just stack up in the aisle until I finally went and moved a bunch of shopping carts and started directing traffic away from us and into the next aisle. Meanwhile, a car parked right by one of the cop cars decided to back up and leave. They began backing up and my firefighter was directing them away from the cop car but they wouldn't turn. They just kept backing up towards the cop car, where incidentally the kid was getting cuffed. One of the officers went up to the passenger window and began telling the driver to turn the wheel. They turned the wrong way. He pointed and told them louder to turn the other way. They straightened the wheel. He opened the door and pointed again and said, "Turn the wheel that way and slowly back up!" They finally got turned the right direction and proceeded to back up at about 1/8th of a mile per hour. I didn't know cars could actually go that slowly and still be moving. The cop actually looked up at all of us, threw his hands in the air and said, "I did say slowly didn't I?"
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