Johnny On The Spot (prose edition)

For those who may have been confused by last entries open verse poetry stylings...here is the story.


My engine was called out to assist the police department with a wellfare check. This was in the retirement mobile home park and the resident hadn't been seen by neighbors for several days.

PD was unable to find an open door or window to make access into the home and so called us - so we can do all the damage. Following the preeminent rule of forcible entry which is try before you pry we took a lap around the house to see if we could find a way in. Now, I'm not in the business of showing up the police department but it can be fun when it happens and you get some points in the sibling rivalry game between cops and firemen. As we made our way around the house trying doors and windows it appeared that the pd was right and the place was locked up tight. But just before we committed to breaking down a door I looked again at the window to the sun porch and thought it looked just slightly off. Upon much closer inspection it was open just a fraction of an inch and I called out that we had a way in.

My firefighter popped off the screen and I slid the window open. The window was maybe four feet off the ground and not very big. So we would need a ladder to get in. My firefighter started to leave to go and get the attic ladder when I reached through the window to see if I could clear some space. The first thing my hand blindly fell on (and pulled out of the window like a rabbit from a hat) was a step ladder, just the right size.

I called out again to my firefighter and told him I didn't need the ladder. Two for two. I climbed up the step ladder and shimmied through the window which led to a sun porch/deck area. I proceeded to the door to let my crew in. We were still not inside the house so may still have to force entry. My captain went to the side door and I went to the slider. The captains door was locked. The sliding glass door opened easily for me and I again called to my crew, "I'm in." Three for three.

Normally PD will take over at this point and go clear the house and make sure it is safe for us to enter. But for some reason they had not come through the door with my crew. I waited for a second to see if they would be coming along then decided, as I heard nothing from inside the house, that I would just go in and check it out.

I announced my presence loudly, "Fire Department!! Anyone home?"
I got no answer and so proceeded through the kitchen looking for the occupant. As soon as I cleared the kitchen I looked down the hallway into the bedroom and saw the elderly gentleman dead on the floor. Even from such a distance I could see that rigor had set in and his hands were actually up in the air like Blue from Old School.

I let my crew and PD know what I'd found. Luckily, much like this mans immaculate home, the scene was surprisingly clean. There was no smell of days old death or any of the other unpleasantness that comes with wellfare check bodies. The police still needed an I.D. or SSN/DOB info and began searching around the house which as I stated was probably the cleanest and most organized house I've been in in a long time. They weren't having any luck finding what they needed however. That's when I saw several envelopes on the lower shelf of the nightstand from AARP. They were perfectly stacked and in chronological order. I opened one up and read off to the PD all of the pts pertinent info that happened to be on page one of the first document.

Four for four (or 5 for 5 if you count the body).

We put the step ladder away, closed up the window and replaced the screen and cleared the scene.

And while it was a sad call overall, as far as those types go, it was an easy one. And I got to be Johnny On The Spot at every turn and one step ahead of the law.