Ingenuity

Never count out the ingenuity of the drunks at the local pub. Their judgement and ability to think things through all the way...that you can call into question.

We responded to a call for a man down in the parking lot of one of my district's local watering holes. This is not a pub we go to routinely, they don't usually fight or get into trouble. We'd gone there a couple of times because they had an illegal outdoor fire pit, things like that. So, this was a little unusual.

As I drove through the parking lot and was about to turn in the direction of the front door of the pub, we were flagged down and directed to the opposite end of the parking lot. I turned that way and headed toward the small group of people circled around a man laying on the ground. I got out and went to the man on the ground who was conscious and perfectly able to talk to me. He didn't even appear really drunk. He and the excited, sometimes laughing crowd proceeded to explain that he was on the ground because he had crashed. Crashed? There were no cars or bikes or motorcycles on this end of the parking lot. Crashed what? And then, from behind the half circle of bar patrons, someone revealed the motorized bar stool my patient had been riding.


Yes, somewhere, somehow, someone thought this would be a great idea. They did an okay job of putting the thing together too. I can only imagine the excited yells and cheers and laughter of the crowd as this guy took off from the doorway of the pub and went zipping off across the parking lot. This was of course followed by the wincing, cringing, "Ooohhh"s and probably more laughter as he attempted to turn the thing. I'm guessing the stool probably cornered fine, however the close to 200 pound driver sitting, unsecured, high atop the careening barstool....well, if you remember anything from physics class about momentum and centrifugal force then you can pretty much picture the scene.

My patient was banged up and scraped up enough to go to the hospital for x-rays but I don't think he was seriously hurt in any way. He may be rethinking the logic of the motorized barstool now, but I think it's probably more likely that he is pondering how to solve the cornering problem. Only time will tell.